what's so messed up

 and since I've been an adult woman all of the adult men that I have known have been worthless they have been abusive game playing lacking of any emotional intelligence whatsoever lacking any integrity morality lacking any true manhood and complete and utter worthless piles of shit they have an abusive to animals to children to women they have not taken care of their property their families the things they own and the only one that was worth a goddamn was the one who did better pretending to be a stand-up man than all the rest of them did but what I could never figure out is if he could pretend to be that man why couldn't he just be that man he obviously knew what to do he just chose not to I will never fucking know if he was really that person the whole time and just chose win to bring out the other side of him or if going to prison and smoking K2 literally rewired his brain and turned him into the monster he became but what I do know is the things I saw after that were so manipulative and premeditated that I can never forgive the man that was the love of my life and when I can never shake off is how he became the love of my life if he was never so bad and I know they say until they're blue in the face oh very smart people are taking in by narcissists they don't pick losers they pick the best is the best bullshit bullshit bullshit we all have an innate sense of the people around us I never got a bad feeling for him even after the games began in the beatings began I never had a bad feeling about him I had a feeling that he'd gone through hell but he was trying like Dickens did not be a product of his environment he loved us a capacity of unlike anyone I've ever known and he taught me how to not give a fuck as a capacity like I never thought I would know and I will turn it off and on it will but I will never for the rest of my life never trust another man and especially one in this area where I live there are homeless men who have done nothing for years that women will have sex with and reward for doing jack shit nothing where I live a homeless person sleeping at the park was nearly just beaten to death with a bar from several young men young adult men in my neighborhood that's where I live and when people beat us leaving person nearly to death and get away with it they might as well have committed homicide and when they group up in a team and commit homicide and get away with it they're going to start kicking in people's doors and do the same thing and if you think that any person who lives in a neighborhood or something like this occurs and doesn't get completely smoking out against until the people who did it are found in literally drug behind a truck through the town square you will never be safe know your goddamn guns put on your alarms it won't matter because the rate the world is going is so quickly downhill you can't stop it the police are not keeping up the police in my area don't even come out to home invasions anymore they don't come out to gunfire anymore they don't give a fuck the only thing they want to do is generate God damn tax and come by fucking writing tickets so if it comes down to a real crime they have to investigate they're not going to show up if it comes down to a female being hurt in this area they've never showed up if he comes down to well anything that's not running into generate more income for more fancy police cars just thinking about working they're not going to do a goddamn thing about it anyhow they're going to keep it at a City municipal level so they can be the ones that get the money for it they're going to keep it out of the state limelight so people do not have the criminal record that they should have so they cannot be around people that they shouldn't be around and they're not going to take in the people that are causing the most trouble because their jails are over filled with drug addicts because they're losers our criminal justice system is a narcissistic fucking cunt man there we have it made by narcissistic fucking cunt men that made the fucking rules when they were never on the streets taken care of any of the problems cuz they were sitting in their offices looking at their red tape and wrapping up everything with it there's nothing you can do now it's already been done this is why the world is we know it's about to blow up in our faces and we are all going to die this way in my lifetime because we don't deserve to live because of for any species to be given a chance over and over and over again to be humane and for us to commit genocide to wipe out entire species because we wanted to wear a coat or a pair of shoes we're discussing deplorable fucking people and this state fuck your school's fuck your state members fuck your fucking citizens fuck your constitutes fuck your courthouse fuck your police fuck everything here you're a filthy dirty rotten nothing but cast off from fucking Carneys and fucking religious cults and fucked up places I municipalities that want to do more get tax dollars in their pockets and keep them 1% of 1% fuck everything that this place stands for every other words anyone who heard that beating go down any motherfucker to open their window and saw and or listen to it go down anyone that drove by it and especially any mother fucking piece of shit that was part of it burn in hell I'm going to find out who every single one of you were and I'm going to make sure you all get some form of Justice I can promise you that you are the faces of fucking evil and you don't deserve to walk among us and this will not happen in my neighborhood this will not happen where I live this will not happen in my backyard you disgusting you make me fucking sick you make me as sick as the fucking police that drive around here and don't do a fucking thing to stop the likes of you probably the same pussies walking around with the machine guns letting them off all over these neighborhoods where there's absolutely no place for those bullets to go except for to hurt another person you're fucking dirtbags your parents are fucking dirtbags your grandparents are pieces of shit and everything you stand for is fucking trash I hope you die of leprosy I hope everything that you and your tiny little emotionally fucked up little heart can fucking possibly care about Burns to death in front of you and I hope you rotten hell forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and you are part of the reason why civilization must die because we cannot do the right thing cuz people like you continue to be born and exist your partnership drowned you at birth in fact they probably should have been drowned at birth in fact your entire bloodline probably should have not ever been you should have been part of a genocide your ass should have disappeared how many years ago and I'll tell you one thing it needs to happen now because there needs to be no more of your bloodline ever to walk this planet fuck everyone of you